| Drinking and Driving - Will Your Child
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| | drive...she's done this a million times
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| Become a Statistic?by C. Bailey-Lloyd
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| | before..." And all too often, teenagers
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| Just two days ago, another 15-year old
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| | fall to peer pressure because they want
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| child was added to the overwhelming
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| | to be cool, popular or part of the
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| statistics of drunk-driving, related
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| | "in-crowd." Sadly, many do become victims
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| deaths. One minute, he's full of vitality
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| | of psychological pressure tactics.
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| and attending our local high school, the
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| | There is not a week that goes by that I
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| next his unsuspecting parents are
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| | don't think of "Only 17." Being a mother
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| identifying him in a local morgue. The
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| | of two teenage kids, the thought is a
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| harsh reality of this brutal scenerio is
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| | constant in my mind. As a parent, it is
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| sometimes very difficult to comprehend.
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| | imperative that we adamantly involve
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| "Where did I go wrong?"
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| | ourselves in our childrens' lives. I'm
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| "Didn't I talk enough with my child?"
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| | not saying that we become overbearing and
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| "I thought he knew better..."
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| | intrusive, but we must demand intolerance
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| "I assumed he was just at a friend's
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| | of drinking and driving. While most
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| house..."
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| | teenagers will experience with alcohol at
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| These, and various other queries, are all
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| | some point in their growing-up years, we
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| similar questions parents tend to ask
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| | have to learn to expect it. It is not a
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| themselves after an incident or accident
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| | question of if, it's a matter of when.
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| involving DUI or DWI (Driving Under the
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| | And like all parents, we don't want to
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| Influence, or Driving While Intoxicated).
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| | accept the fact that our child or
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| According to MADD (Mothers Against Drunk
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| | children would engage in sometimes-lethal
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| Driving), NHTSA (National Highway Traffic
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| | behavior. But it can happen to the best
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| Safety Administration) and the NIAAA
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| | of families. Drinking and driving doesn't
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| (National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and
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| | simply effect a certain stereotypical
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| Alcoholism),
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| | group of persons - it doesn't have a
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| * Parents' drinking behavior and
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| | preference of social, economical, racial,
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| favorable attitudes about drinking have
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| | geographical, and sexual lines. No, peer
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| been positively associated with
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| | pressure is out there, and if you're not
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| adolescents' initiating and continued
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| | paying attention and interactively
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| drinking. (NIAAA, 1997)
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| | pursuing the matter, your child could
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| * Youth who drink before age 15 are four
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| | become a statistic.
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| times more likely to develop alcohol
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| | One of my beliefs is to continuously talk
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| dependence than those who begin drinking
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| | with my children about drinking. I wasn't
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| at age 21. (NIAAA, 1997)
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| | born yesterday, so I know that alcohol is
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| * Underage drinkers are responsible for
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| | waiting at the ready. What do I do about
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| between 10 and 20 percent of all alcohol
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| | it? For starters, I have ritually
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| consumed in the United States. (NAS,
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| | engrained the fact that drinking and
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| 2003)
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| | driving kills. Period. Since they were
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| * In 2002, 29 percent of 15 to
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| | old enough to understand the principles
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| 20-year-old drivers killed in motor
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| | of drinking and driving, I have made it a
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| vehicle crashes had been drinking.
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| | point to "be there" for my kids. You see,
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| Twenty-four percent were intoxicated.
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| | one of the biggest problems with
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| * Research continues to show that young
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| | teenagers is that if you isolate them
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| drivers between 15 and 20 years old are
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| | with negative communication, it can
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| more often involved in alcohol-related
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| | virtually destroy any attempt of "keeping
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| crashes than any other comparable age
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| | them safe."
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| group. Alcohol-crash involvement rates,
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| | A encouraging opening line to your
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| share of the alcohol-crash problem and
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| | teenager might be, "...although I don't
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| alcohol-crash risk all reach their peaks
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| | condone drinking, please call me - no
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| with young drivers, with the peaks for
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| | matter where you are, no matter what time
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| fatal crashes occurring at age 21.
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| | it is, whether you're drunk or not, or if
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| (NHTSA, 2001)
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| | you're somewhere you weren't supposed to
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| * Based on the latest mortality data
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| | be. I'll come and pick you up. It's not
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| available, motor vehicle crashes are the
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| | cool to get into a car with someone who's
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| leading cause of death for people from 15
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| | been drinking - ever. I promise not to be
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| to 20 years old. (NHTSA, 2003)
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| | angry with you. I'd rather you come home
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| Of course, statistically speaking, the
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| | alive than dead."
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| list could go on and on. All too often,
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| | This is something that I say to my own
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| we as parents get caught up in the daily
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| | teenagers - every chance I get. And with
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| grind of work, household chores, and
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| | a season of holidays upon us, it is even
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| other engagements. Sometimes we forget
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| | more vital that we communicate with our
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| how to prioritize our committments.
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| | kids. Holiday statistics show that there
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| Ironically though, it is our teenage
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| | is, on average, a nearly 50% overall
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| children who suffer from our own
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| | chance of a traffic-related fatality.
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| strategies on making their lives more
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| | What unnecassary risks are we willing to
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| comfortable.
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| | take? Not only is talking with our
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| John J. Berrio wrote a shocking but
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| | children crucial, it is important to stay
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| enlightening, infamous piece on teenage
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| | involved in our childrens' lives. Knowing
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| vehicular-related death based on a
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| | where your child is - is NOT intrusive.
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| friend's son:
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| | Knowing what your child is doing - is NOT
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| Only 17
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| | intrusive.
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| Agony claws my mind. I am a statistic.
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| | Set guidelines for your teenagers. We
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| When I first got here I felt very much
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| | can't protect them from everything -
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| alone. I was overwhelmed by grief, and I
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| | that's a fact of life. There are just
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| expected to find sympathy.
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| | some things that we can't do as parents -
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| I found no sympathy. I saw only thousands
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| | but what we can do is become active
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| of others whose bodies were as badly
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| | participants in their lives. Just as we
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| mangled as mine. I was given a number and
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| | support our children at athletic events
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| placed in a category. The category was
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| | like football games, cheerleading
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| called "Traffic Fatalities."
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| | sessions, field and track, (just to name
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| The day I died was an ordinary school
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| | a few), we can support our teenagers from
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| day. How I wish I had taken the bus! But
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| | the sidelines...giving them impromptu
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| I was too cool for the bus. I remember
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| | examples on how to be successful, and how
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| how I wheedled the car out of Mom.
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| | to lead life in a fun but responsible
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| "Special favor," I pleaded. "All the kids
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| | manner.
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| drive." When the 2:50 p.m. bell rang, I
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| | Here are some tips at developing open
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| threw my books in the locker ... free
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| | communication lines with your teenagers:
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| until tomorrow morning! I ran to the
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| | 1. Cell phones are valuable assets in
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| parking lot, excited at the thought of
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| | keeping up with your kids. Make sure you
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| driving a car and being my own boss.
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| | allow them to use them if going "out to a
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| It doesn't matter how the accident
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| | friend's house..." or "party." Cell
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| happened. I was goofing off -- going too
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| | phones give kids a sense of
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| fast, taking crazy chances. But I was
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| | responsibility and most often, they will
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| enjoying my freedom and having fun. The
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| | use them to phone you if they're caught
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| last thing I remember was passing an old
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| | in a desperate situation.
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| lady who seemed to be going awfully slow.
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| | 2. Keep negative thoughts to yourself. We
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| I heard a crash and felt a terrific jolt.
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| | may not like the fact that our kids might
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| Glass and steel flew everywhere. My whole
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| | drink; we might even be boiling over with
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| body seemed to be turning inside out. I
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| | anger - but if they do drink, don't slam
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| heard myself scream.
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| | them for it. The next time, they may not
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| Suddenly, I awakened. It was very quiet.
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| | call you.
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| A police officer was standing over me. I
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| | 3. Access. If you know that there might
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| saw a doctor. My body was mangled. I was
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| | be a possibility of drinking, talk to
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| saturated with blood. Pieces of jagged
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| | your teenagers. Don't assume that
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| glass were sticking out all over. Strange
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| | Billy-down-the-street who comes from a
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| that I couldn't feel anything. Hey, don't
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| | "good" family won't be offering liquor or
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| pull that sheet over my head. I can't be
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| | beer. Reiterate your position on drinking
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| dead. I'm only 17. I've got a date
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| | in a positive declaration, but at the
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| tonight. I'm supposed to have a wonderful
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| | same time, reinforce your availability to
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| life ahead of me. I haven't lived yet. I
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| | them. This could be a make-or-break life,
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| can't be dead.
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| | preserving decision on your part.
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| Later I was placed in a drawer. My folks
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| | 4. Resolve. When we acknowledge the fact
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| came to identify me. Why did they have to
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| | that kids may drink alcoholic beverages,
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| see me like this? Why did I have to look
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| | we aren't so shocked and disturbed when
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| at Mom's eyes when she faced the most
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| | it does occur. The number 1 rule for
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| terrible ordeal of her life? Dad suddenly
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| | combatting drinking and driving issues is
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| looked very old. He told the man in
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| | to stay informed, stay alert and never
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| charge, "Yes, he's our son."
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| | assume anything. We were all teenagers
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| The funeral was weird. I saw all my
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| | once and we know how quickly events can
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| relatives and friends walk toward the
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| | change for the better or worse. It's up
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| casket. They looked at me with the
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| | to us as parents to instill proper
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| saddest eyes I've ever seen. Some of my
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| | attitudes about drinking and driving so
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| buddies were crying. A few of the girls
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| | to prevent alcohol-related traffic
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| touched my hand and sobbed as they walked
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| | fatalities.
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| by.
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| | In closing, I encourage folks to let
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| Please, somebody -- wake me up! Get me
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| | their children read, "Only 17." It is, by
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| out of here. I can't bear to see Mom and
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| | far, the most impressive piece of
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| Dad in such pain. My grandparents are so
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| | literature of our time. If you don't know
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| weak from grief they can barely walk. My
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| | how to talk to your children, seek
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| brother and sister are like zombies. They
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| | private counsel so you can. Our youth is
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| move like robots. In a daze. Everybody.
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| | the vital component our existence - they
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| No one can believe this. I can't believe
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| | are, afterall our leaders of tomorrow.
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| it, either.
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| | Invest in them today by being an integral
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| Please, don't bury me! I'm not dead! I
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| | part of their lives.
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| have a lot of living to do! I want to
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| | ________________________________________
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| laugh and run again. I want to sing and
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| | ____________________
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| dance. Please don't put me in the ground!
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| | Drinking and Driving - Will Your Child
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| I promise if you give me just one more
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| | Become a Statistic?
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| chance, God, I'll be the most careful
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| | ©2004 - All Rights Reserved.
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| driver in the whole world. All I want is
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| | C.Bailey-Lloyd/LadyCamelot
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| one more chance. Please, God, I'm only
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| | Public Relations' Director &
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| 17.
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| | Staff Writer
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| By,
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| | ________________________________________
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| John Berrio
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| | ____________________
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| ________________________________________
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| | References:
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| ____________________
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| | MADD Online Youth Statistics
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| This well-known story has been circulated
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| | (
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| across the globe. Also known as "Dead at
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| | Only 17 from [All work by author is
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| 17," and "Please God, I'm Only 17" is a
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| | copyright protected. If you would like to
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| stanching piece that has hailed teenagers
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| | use this article, please contact the
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| and parents alike.
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| | author for permission.]
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| As a ritual, this literature is ground
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| | Disclaimer: The Views and Information
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| into the core of my thought processes.
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| | expressed on this webpage are that of the
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| Not too long ago, we were all faced with
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| | Author and do not necessarily reflect the
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| enticements of "...let's go to that
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| | views, data, policies, endorsement or
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| party...", "...come, on...it's only a few
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| | support of HolisticJunction.com's
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| miles up the road. He's not drunk...he's
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| | Administration or its standards.
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| only had a few beers...." "Sure she can
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|
