| Drinking and Driving - Will Your Child Become | | | | long ago, we were all faced with enticements |
| a Statistic?by C. Bailey-Lloyd | | | | of "...let's go to that party...", "...come, |
| | | | on...it's only a few miles up the road. He's |
| Just two days ago, another 15-year old child | | | | not drunk...he's only had a few beers...." |
| was added to the overwhelming statistics of | | | | "Sure she can drive...she's done this a |
| drunk-driving, related deaths. One minute, | | | | million times before..." And all too often, |
| he's full of vitality and attending our local | | | | teenagers fall to peer pressure because they |
| high school, the next his unsuspecting | | | | want to be cool, popular or part of the |
| parents are identifying him in a local | | | | "in-crowd." Sadly, many do become victims of |
| morgue. The harsh reality of this brutal | | | | psychological pressure tactics. |
| scenerio is sometimes very difficult to | | | | |
| comprehend. | | | | There is not a week that goes by that I don't |
| | | | think of "Only 17." Being a mother of two |
| "Where did I go wrong?" | | | | teenage kids, the thought is a constant in my |
| | | | mind. As a parent, it is imperative that we |
| "Didn't I talk enough with my child?" | | | | adamantly involve ourselves in our childrens' |
| | | | lives. I'm not saying that we become |
| "I thought he knew better..." | | | | overbearing and intrusive, but we must demand |
| | | | intolerance of drinking and driving. While |
| "I assumed he was just at a friend's | | | | most teenagers will experience with alcohol |
| house..." | | | | at some point in their growing-up years, we |
| | | | have to learn to expect it. It is not a |
| These, and various other queries, are all | | | | question of if, it's a matter of when. |
| similar questions parents tend to ask | | | | |
| themselves after an incident or accident | | | | And like all parents, we don't want to accept |
| involving DUI or DWI (Driving Under the | | | | the fact that our child or children would |
| Influence, or Driving While Intoxicated). | | | | engage in sometimes-lethal behavior. But it |
| | | | can happen to the best of families. Drinking |
| According to MADD (Mothers Against Drunk | | | | and driving doesn't simply effect a certain |
| Driving), NHTSA (National Highway Traffic | | | | stereotypical group of persons - it doesn't |
| Safety Administration) and the NIAAA | | | | have a preference of social, economical, |
| (National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and | | | | racial, geographical, and sexual lines. No, |
| Alcoholism), | | | | peer pressure is out there, and if you're not |
| | | | paying attention and interactively pursuing |
| * Parents' drinking behavior and favorable | | | | the matter, your child could become a |
| attitudes about drinking have been positively | | | | statistic. |
| associated with adolescents' initiating and | | | | |
| continued drinking. (NIAAA, 1997) | | | | One of my beliefs is to continuously talk |
| | | | with my children about drinking. I wasn't |
| * Youth who drink before age 15 are four | | | | born yesterday, so I know that alcohol is |
| times more likely to develop alcohol | | | | waiting at the ready. What do I do about it? |
| dependence than those who begin drinking at | | | | For starters, I have ritually engrained the |
| age 21. (NIAAA, 1997) | | | | fact that drinking and driving kills. Period. |
| | | | Since they were old enough to understand the |
| * Underage drinkers are responsible for | | | | principles of drinking and driving, I have |
| between 10 and 20 percent of all alcohol | | | | made it a point to "be there" for my kids. |
| consumed in the United States. (NAS, 2003) | | | | You see, one of the biggest problems with |
| | | | teenagers is that if you isolate them with |
| * In 2002, 29 percent of 15 to 20-year-old | | | | negative communication, it can virtually |
| drivers killed in motor vehicle crashes had | | | | destroy any attempt of "keeping them safe." |
| been drinking. Twenty-four percent were | | | | |
| intoxicated. | | | | A encouraging opening line to your teenager |
| | | | might be, "...although I don't condone |
| * Research continues to show that young | | | | drinking, please call me - no matter where |
| drivers between 15 and 20 years old are more | | | | you are, no matter what time it is, whether |
| often involved in alcohol-related crashes | | | | you're drunk or not, or if you're somewhere |
| than any other comparable age group. | | | | you weren't supposed to be. I'll come and |
| Alcohol-crash involvement rates, share of the | | | | pick you up. It's not cool to get into a car |
| alcohol-crash problem and alcohol-crash risk | | | | with someone who's been drinking - ever. I |
| all reach their peaks with young drivers, | | | | promise not to be angry with you. I'd rather |
| with the peaks for fatal crashes occurring at | | | | you come home alive than dead." |
| age 21. (NHTSA, 2001) | | | | |
| | | | This is something that I say to my own |
| * Based on the latest mortality data | | | | teenagers - every chance I get. And with a |
| available, motor vehicle crashes are the | | | | season of holidays upon us, it is even more |
| leading cause of death for people from 15 to | | | | vital that we communicate with our kids. |
| 20 years old. (NHTSA, 2003) | | | | Holiday statistics show that there is, on |
| | | | average, a nearly 50% overall chance of a |
| Of course, statistically speaking, the list | | | | traffic-related fatality. What unnecassary |
| could go on and on. All too often, we as | | | | risks are we willing to take? Not only is |
| parents get caught up in the daily grind of | | | | talking with our children crucial, it is |
| work, household chores, and other | | | | important to stay involved in our childrens' |
| engagements. Sometimes we forget how to | | | | lives. Knowing where your child is - is NOT |
| prioritize our committments. Ironically | | | | intrusive. Knowing what your child is doing - |
| though, it is our teenage children who suffer | | | | is NOT intrusive. |
| from our own strategies on making their lives | | | | |
| more comfortable. | | | | Set guidelines for your teenagers. We can't |
| | | | protect them from everything - that's a fact |
| John J. Berrio wrote a shocking but | | | | of life. There are just some things that we |
| enlightening, infamous piece on teenage | | | | can't do as parents - but what we can do is |
| vehicular-related death based on a friend's | | | | become active participants in their lives. |
| son: | | | | Just as we support our children at athletic |
| | | | events like football games, cheerleading |
| Only 17 | | | | sessions, field and track, (just to name a |
| | | | few), we can support our teenagers from the |
| Agony claws my mind. I am a statistic. When I | | | | sidelines...giving them impromptu examples on |
| first got here I felt very much alone. I was | | | | how to be successful, and how to lead life in |
| overwhelmed by grief, and I expected to find | | | | a fun but responsible manner. |
| sympathy. | | | | |
| | | | Here are some tips at developing open |
| I found no sympathy. I saw only thousands of | | | | communication lines with your teenagers: |
| others whose bodies were as badly mangled as | | | | |
| mine. I was given a number and placed in a | | | | 1. Cell phones are valuable assets in keeping |
| category. The category was called "Traffic | | | | up with your kids. Make sure you allow them |
| Fatalities." | | | | to use them if going "out to a friend's |
| | | | house..." or "party." Cell phones give kids a |
| The day I died was an ordinary school day. | | | | sense of responsibility and most often, they |
| How I wish I had taken the bus! But I was too | | | | will use them to phone you if they're caught |
| cool for the bus. I remember how I wheedled | | | | in a desperate situation. |
| the car out of Mom. "Special favor," I | | | | |
| pleaded. "All the kids drive." When the 2:50 | | | | 2. Keep negative thoughts to yourself. We may |
| p.m. bell rang, I threw my books in the | | | | not like the fact that our kids might drink; |
| locker ... free until tomorrow morning! I ran | | | | we might even be boiling over with anger - |
| to the parking lot, excited at the thought of | | | | but if they do drink, don't slam them for it. |
| driving a car and being my own boss. | | | | The next time, they may not call you. |
| | | | |
| It doesn't matter how the accident happened. | | | | 3. Access. If you know that there might be a |
| I was goofing off -- going too fast, taking | | | | possibility of drinking, talk to your |
| crazy chances. But I was enjoying my freedom | | | | teenagers. Don't assume that |
| and having fun. The last thing I remember was | | | | Billy-down-the-street who comes from a "good" |
| passing an old lady who seemed to be going | | | | family won't be offering liquor or beer. |
| awfully slow. I heard a crash and felt a | | | | Reiterate your position on drinking in a |
| terrific jolt. Glass and steel flew | | | | positive declaration, but at the same time, |
| everywhere. My whole body seemed to be | | | | reinforce your availability to them. This |
| turning inside out. I heard myself scream. | | | | could be a make-or-break life, preserving |
| | | | decision on your part. |
| Suddenly, I awakened. It was very quiet. A | | | | |
| police officer was standing over me. I saw a | | | | 4. Resolve. When we acknowledge the fact that |
| doctor. My body was mangled. I was saturated | | | | kids may drink alcoholic beverages, we aren't |
| with blood. Pieces of jagged glass were | | | | so shocked and disturbed when it does occur. |
| sticking out all over. Strange that I | | | | The number 1 rule for combatting drinking and |
| couldn't feel anything. Hey, don't pull that | | | | driving issues is to stay informed, stay |
| sheet over my head. I can't be dead. I'm only | | | | alert and never assume anything. We were all |
| 17. I've got a date tonight. I'm supposed to | | | | teenagers once and we know how quickly events |
| have a wonderful life ahead of me. I haven't | | | | can change for the better or worse. It's up |
| lived yet. I can't be dead. | | | | to us as parents to instill proper attitudes |
| | | | about drinking and driving so to prevent |
| Later I was placed in a drawer. My folks came | | | | alcohol-related traffic fatalities. |
| to identify me. Why did they have to see me | | | | |
| like this? Why did I have to look at Mom's | | | | In closing, I encourage folks to let their |
| eyes when she faced the most terrible ordeal | | | | children read, "Only 17." It is, by far, the |
| of her life? Dad suddenly looked very old. He | | | | most impressive piece of literature of our |
| told the man in charge, "Yes, he's our son." | | | | time. If you don't know how to talk to your |
| | | | children, seek private counsel so you can. |
| The funeral was weird. I saw all my relatives | | | | Our youth is the vital component our |
| and friends walk toward the casket. They | | | | existence - they are, afterall our leaders of |
| looked at me with the saddest eyes I've ever | | | | tomorrow. Invest in them today by being an |
| seen. Some of my buddies were crying. A few | | | | integral part of their lives. |
| of the girls touched my hand and sobbed as | | | | |
| they walked by. | | | | ____________________________________________ |
| | | | ________________ |
| Please, somebody -- wake me up! Get me out of | | | | |
| here. I can't bear to see Mom and Dad in such | | | | Drinking and Driving - Will Your Child Become |
| pain. My grandparents are so weak from grief | | | | a Statistic? |
| they can barely walk. My brother and sister | | | | |
| are like zombies. They move like robots. In a | | | | ©2004 - All Rights Reserved. |
| daze. Everybody. No one can believe this. I | | | | |
| can't believe it, either. | | | | C.Bailey-Lloyd/LadyCamelot |
| | | | |
| Please, don't bury me! I'm not dead! I have a | | | | Public Relations' Director & |
| lot of living to do! I want to laugh and run | | | | |
| again. I want to sing and dance. Please don't | | | | Staff Writer |
| put me in the ground! I promise if you give | | | | |
| me just one more chance, God, I'll be the | | | | ____________________________________________ |
| most careful driver in the whole world. All I | | | | ________________ |
| want is one more chance. Please, God, I'm | | | | |
| only 17. | | | | References: |
| | | | |
| By, | | | | MADD Online Youth Statistics |
| | | | |
| John Berrio | | | | ( |
| | | | |
| ____________________________________________ | | | | Only 17 from [All work by author is copyright |
| ________________ | | | | protected. If you would like to use this |
| | | | article, please contact the author for |
| This well-known story has been circulated | | | | permission.] |
| across the globe. Also known as "Dead at 17," | | | | |
| and "Please God, I'm Only 17" is a stanching | | | | Disclaimer: The Views and Information |
| piece that has hailed teenagers and parents | | | | expressed on this webpage are that of the |
| alike. | | | | Author and do not necessarily reflect the |
| | | | views, data, policies, endorsement or support |
| As a ritual, this literature is ground into | | | | of HolisticJunction.com's Administration or |
| the core of my thought processes. Not too | | | | its standards. |