| When you are a parent, there are many things to | | | | may happen if they fall under the spell of drugs |
| worry about. Keeping your kids safe is at the top | | | | and alcohol and stresses the importance of |
| of the list. First, you worry about the pacifier your | | | | speaking up before it's too late. "As a police |
| infant dropped on the floor-so you pick it up and | | | | officer I have spoken to teenagers about these |
| wash it with soap and water. Next, your toddler | | | | issues upon parents' request," he says. "And on |
| isn't eating enough vegetables, so you do your | | | | certain occasions, years down the road, I'll see |
| best to hide some veggies in his meat loaf. Then, | | | | the parents and they will thank me for turning the |
| you bite your nails as your second grader scales | | | | kid around." Quinones has seen the consequences |
| the tallest tree in the yard. You want to run and | | | | when the child doesn't listen: they land out in the |
| catch him when he starts to slip, but you see | | | | system for some drug related crime. |
| that he's beaming with excitement, so you stay | | | | Expert Advice |
| watchful and quiet-careful not to spoil his fun. | | | | So how do you get a child to listen? What do you |
| As the kids grow older, the dangers they are | | | | say? When should you say it? I asked Dr. Susan |
| faced with become more intense. One danger | | | | Bartell, psychologist and author in Port Washington |
| heavy on the minds of parents these days is | | | | specializing in tween and teens, to shed some light |
| substance abuse. And for good reason. With the | | | | on this important issue. |
| popularity of "designer" drugs on the rise, and all | | | | Q: What age do you recommend bringing up the |
| the peer pressure kids are faced with, the | | | | issue? |
| worries parents encounter are mounting. | | | | A: You can start talking to kids about drugs |
| The Usual and Unusual Suspects | | | | beginning at six or seven--by talking about |
| Sure, it's the usual suspects; experimenting with | | | | smoking cigarettes because that is something |
| marijuana and alcohol that begin a pattern of | | | | they see in their world and can understand that it |
| self-destruction, but be aware, there are new | | | | is "bad". |
| drugs on the block, and they can be found in your | | | | As they get older (about ten) they can begin to |
| medicine chest. According the Partnership for a | | | | understand the issue of other drugs. Middle school |
| Drug-Free America, the menu of drugs kids and | | | | kids are ready for direct conversations, naming |
| teens are using is changing. They report 1 in 5 | | | | drugs (marijuana in particular) and explaining that |
| teens has tried Vicodin (a narcotic pain reliever) to | | | | they are illegal and dangerous. |
| get high, and 1 in 11 has admitted to getting high | | | | Q: Can you give me some tips about how to |
| on cough medicine. | | | | make the "talk" go smooth? |
| They also report a number of teens now "party" | | | | A: With middle schoolers, look for a "teachable |
| with other prescription and over-the-counter | | | | moment"...a TV anti-drug ad, a TV show when |
| drugs. Along with the other illicit drugs out there | | | | kids are drinking, smoking, using drugs and ask |
| that pose a dangerous risk to our kids, it's difficult | | | | them what they think about it; then give your |
| not to be alarmed. The Partnership for a | | | | feelings in a low-keyed way, explaining that it is |
| Drug-Free America ( is arming parents with | | | | something you feel strongly about. |
| need-to-know information about the risks of | | | | As kids get older--young high schoolers, the |
| dangerous substances. | | | | conversations need to begin to revolve around |
| A local program reaching out | | | | their social life: what would they do at a party if |
| On the local front, there are programs that are | | | | there was alcohol/drugs there. Help them come |
| taking action. Program coordinator for the Student | | | | up with ways of handling it that aren't judgmental |
| Athlete Leadership Team (SALT), Paul Grafer, | | | | or critical. |
| stresses the need for a proactive, honest dialogue | | | | Q: What's the biggest mistake parents make |
| between parents and their children about | | | | dealing with drug issues and their children? |
| substance abuse. He oversees programs | | | | A: They are too preachy, too critical of kids and |
| emphasizing leadership and character for young | | | | don't give enough problem solving strategies. They |
| people in 40 districts in the New York Metropolitan | | | | also don't listen for their kids' concerns about how |
| area. | | | | to handle peer pressure, or curiosity about drugs. |
| SALT trains thousands of high school athletes to | | | | Q: How can parents be proactive about deterring |
| serve as role models and mentors in their school | | | | their children from taking drugs? |
| districts to 5th graders. If you think 5th grade is | | | | A: First, being clear that you disapprove, next, |
| too young to begin a dialogue about drugs-think | | | | making sure that you drive your child to and from |
| again. National statistics show that the average | | | | parties or get-togethers--they'll be much less likely |
| age for experimentation with drugs and alcohol is | | | | to use if they know you're picking them up. Don't |
| 11 years old. | | | | let them get rides from other kids. |
| How does this program help? The SALT Program | | | | Q: Is there anything else parents need to know? |
| promotes healthy, positive behaviors and | | | | A: Conversations about drugs must include |
| decisions. Included in this philosophy is a | | | | alcohol--which is also a drug and is actually usually |
| commitment to life long activeness and playing | | | | the "Gateway" drug to others. Parents often feel |
| sports for enjoyment, health benefits, and to | | | | that alcohol is okay, when in reality their kids can |
| obtain life-skills; and, remaining substance abuse | | | | become alcoholics without them realizing it. |
| free by developing proactive, real-life refusal skills | | | | In addition, parents need to look for signs of |
| and strategies to navigate a culture of underage | | | | chronic drug and alcohol use like: grades dropping, |
| drug abusers (alcohol, tobacco, and steroids). The | | | | social isolation, secretive phone conversations, |
| SALT Program is offered at Adelphi University in | | | | new friends that they don't let you meet; |
| Garden City. For more information visit | | | | dropping old friends; sleeping a lot, changes in |
| On Long Island | | | | personality; sudden depression; sudden mood |
| The grips of drugs are known to be prevalent on | | | | swings. |
| big city streets, but they are a problem here on | | | | When it comes to raising kids today, it really does |
| Long Island. Suffolk County Police Officer Daryl | | | | take a village. Keeping your child out of harm's |
| Quinones explains, his experiences have given him | | | | way is no easy task, but experts agree that |
| great insight and compassion to those who are | | | | staying involved in you're your child's life-- is a |
| drug addicted and the knowledge that even | | | | great start. When they're young and scaling that |
| experimenting with the "softer" drugs can easily | | | | tall tree, you stand back and let them giggle their |
| lead a kid down a path of self-destruction and | | | | way down, but when it comes to drugs, parents |
| crime. | | | | cant afford to be silent. There's too much at |
| He suggests that parents must be truthful, and | | | | stake. |
| "lay it all out there' for kids to understand what | | | | |