| When you are a parent, there are many things | | | | late. "As a police officer I have spoken to |
| to worry about. Keeping your kids safe is at | | | | teenagers about these issues upon parents' |
| the top of the list. First, you worry about | | | | request," he says. "And on certain occasions, |
| the pacifier your infant dropped on the | | | | years down the road, I'll see the parents and |
| floor-so you pick it up and wash it with soap | | | | they will thank me for turning the kid |
| and water. Next, your toddler isn't eating | | | | around." Quinones has seen the consequences |
| enough vegetables, so you do your best to | | | | when the child doesn't listen: they land out |
| hide some veggies in his meat loaf. Then, you | | | | in the system for some drug related crime. |
| bite your nails as your second grader scales | | | | |
| the tallest tree in the yard. You want to run | | | | Expert Advice |
| and catch him when he starts to slip, but you | | | | |
| see that he's beaming with excitement, so you | | | | So how do you get a child to listen? What do |
| stay watchful and quiet-careful not to spoil | | | | you say? When should you say it? I asked Dr. |
| his fun. | | | | Susan Bartell, psychologist and author in |
| | | | Port Washington specializing in tween and |
| As the kids grow older, the dangers they are | | | | teens, to shed some light on this important |
| faced with become more intense. One danger | | | | issue. |
| heavy on the minds of parents these days is | | | | |
| substance abuse. And for good reason. With | | | | Q: What age do you recommend bringing up the |
| the popularity of "designer" drugs on the | | | | issue? |
| rise, and all the peer pressure kids are | | | | |
| faced with, the worries parents encounter are | | | | A: You can start talking to kids about drugs |
| mounting. | | | | beginning at six or seven--by talking about |
| | | | smoking cigarettes because that is something |
| The Usual and Unusual Suspects | | | | they see in their world and can understand |
| | | | that it is "bad". |
| Sure, it's the usual suspects; experimenting | | | | |
| with marijuana and alcohol that begin a | | | | As they get older (about ten) they can begin |
| pattern of self-destruction, but be aware, | | | | to understand the issue of other drugs. |
| there are new drugs on the block, and they | | | | Middle school kids are ready for direct |
| can be found in your medicine chest. | | | | conversations, naming drugs (marijuana in |
| According the Partnership for a Drug-Free | | | | particular) and explaining that they are |
| America, the menu of drugs kids and teens are | | | | illegal and dangerous. |
| using is changing. They report 1 in 5 teens | | | | |
| has tried Vicodin (a narcotic pain reliever) | | | | Q: Can you give me some tips about how to |
| to get high, and 1 in 11 has admitted to | | | | make the "talk" go smooth? |
| getting high on cough medicine. | | | | |
| | | | A: With middle schoolers, look for a |
| They also report a number of teens now | | | | "teachable moment"...a TV anti-drug ad, a TV |
| "party" with other prescription and | | | | show when kids are drinking, smoking, using |
| over-the-counter drugs. Along with the other | | | | drugs and ask them what they think about it; |
| illicit drugs out there that pose a dangerous | | | | then give your feelings in a low-keyed way, |
| risk to our kids, it's difficult not to be | | | | explaining that it is something you feel |
| alarmed. The Partnership for a Drug-Free | | | | strongly about. |
| America ( is arming parents with need-to-know | | | | |
| information about the risks of dangerous | | | | As kids get older--young high schoolers, the |
| substances. | | | | conversations need to begin to revolve around |
| | | | their social life: what would they do at a |
| A local program reaching out | | | | party if there was alcohol/drugs there. Help |
| | | | them come up with ways of handling it that |
| On the local front, there are programs that | | | | aren't judgmental or critical. |
| are taking action. Program coordinator for | | | | |
| the Student Athlete Leadership Team (SALT), | | | | Q: What's the biggest mistake parents make |
| Paul Grafer, stresses the need for a | | | | dealing with drug issues and their children? |
| proactive, honest dialogue between parents | | | | |
| and their children about substance abuse. He | | | | A: They are too preachy, too critical of kids |
| oversees programs emphasizing leadership and | | | | and don't give enough problem solving |
| character for young people in 40 districts in | | | | strategies. They also don't listen for their |
| the New York Metropolitan area. | | | | kids' concerns about how to handle peer |
| | | | pressure, or curiosity about drugs. |
| SALT trains thousands of high school athletes | | | | |
| to serve as role models and mentors in their | | | | Q: How can parents be proactive about |
| school districts to 5th graders. If you think | | | | deterring their children from taking drugs? |
| 5th grade is too young to begin a dialogue | | | | |
| about drugs-think again. National statistics | | | | A: First, being clear that you disapprove, |
| show that the average age for experimentation | | | | next, making sure that you drive your child |
| with drugs and alcohol is 11 years old. | | | | to and from parties or get-togethers--they'll |
| | | | be much less likely to use if they know |
| How does this program help? The SALT Program | | | | you're picking them up. Don't let them get |
| promotes healthy, positive behaviors and | | | | rides from other kids. |
| decisions. Included in this philosophy is a | | | | |
| commitment to life long activeness and | | | | Q: Is there anything else parents need to |
| playing sports for enjoyment, health | | | | know? |
| benefits, and to obtain life-skills; and, | | | | |
| remaining substance abuse free by developing | | | | A: Conversations about drugs must include |
| proactive, real-life refusal skills and | | | | alcohol--which is also a drug and is actually |
| strategies to navigate a culture of underage | | | | usually the "Gateway" drug to others. Parents |
| drug abusers (alcohol, tobacco, and | | | | often feel that alcohol is okay, when in |
| steroids). The SALT Program is offered at | | | | reality their kids can become alcoholics |
| Adelphi University in Garden City. For more | | | | without them realizing it. |
| information visit | | | | |
| | | | In addition, parents need to look for signs |
| On Long Island | | | | of chronic drug and alcohol use like: grades |
| | | | dropping, social isolation, secretive phone |
| The grips of drugs are known to be prevalent | | | | conversations, new friends that they don't |
| on big city streets, but they are a problem | | | | let you meet; dropping old friends; sleeping |
| here on Long Island. Suffolk County Police | | | | a lot, changes in personality; sudden |
| Officer Daryl Quinones explains, his | | | | depression; sudden mood swings. |
| experiences have given him great insight and | | | | |
| compassion to those who are drug addicted and | | | | When it comes to raising kids today, it |
| the knowledge that even experimenting with | | | | really does take a village. Keeping your |
| the "softer" drugs can easily lead a kid down | | | | child out of harm's way is no easy task, but |
| a path of self-destruction and crime. | | | | experts agree that staying involved in you're |
| | | | your child's life-- is a great start. When |
| He suggests that parents must be truthful, | | | | they're young and scaling that tall tree, you |
| and "lay it all out there' for kids to | | | | stand back and let them giggle their way |
| understand what may happen if they fall under | | | | down, but when it comes to drugs, parents |
| the spell of drugs and alcohol and stresses | | | | cant afford to be silent. There's too much at |
| the importance of speaking up before it's too | | | | stake. |