| "If we are to raise happy, healthy well adjusted | | | | girlfriend with an overdose of heroin and was |
| children, then we as parents must lead happy, | | | | convicted for her death. After a lengthy trail, the |
| healthy, well adjusted lives." Years ago, I authored | | | | jury returned with a guilty verdict and sentenced |
| that saying and certainly, the message lends itself | | | | him to 10 years to life at the New Hampshire |
| to the fundamentals of parenting, that if we are | | | | State Prison. |
| to raise our kids correctly then we have to | | | | Unbelievably, while on a visit his mother |
| demonstrate acceptable behavior ourselves. | | | | attempted to smuggle marijuana into the prison |
| Simply put, we must lead our brood by positive | | | | for him and she herself was arrested. |
| example. | | | | Thinking back to the time I was a police officer in |
| Our children have the right to a solid foundation | | | | Newton, New Hampshire I dealt with this |
| from which to springboard into adulthood. It is our | | | | individuals mother on numerous occasions so it |
| responsibility as parents and society for that | | | | was not surprising that the poor choices she was |
| matter to guide them and demonstrate the | | | | making at the time would come back to haunt |
| behaviors that are acceptable in raising them | | | | her. |
| properly. Sadly, some parents just do not | | | | Predictably, her lack of discretion manifested itself |
| comprehend that concept and continue to exhibit | | | | into poor parenting skills enabling her own son to |
| their own poor conduct. | | | | travel the same path leading to his own |
| They continue to believe that if their kids are not | | | | self-destruction through drugs and alcohol, which |
| listening to what they are saying then certainly | | | | inevitably lead to his incarceration. |
| they must not be watching what they are doing | | | | Decades of research regarding at-risk children and |
| either; nothing could be further from the truth. | | | | poor parenting has proven that parents who |
| Frankly, if you lack the self-control to set the | | | | enable their children and fail to lead by positive |
| tone then you are enabling your children to | | | | example are products of the same environment |
| self-destruct. | | | | they place their own children, it is a hapless cycle |
| For example, do you really think you are being a | | | | to which there are no easy solutions. However, in |
| good role model when on a Saturday morning | | | | order to fix the kid, you have to fix the parent(s) |
| while driving your daughter to soccer practice you | | | | here are a few suggestions. |
| begin a conversation about smoking? You explain | | | | 1. Take a parenting class. Your local high schools |
| to her the health issues it can lead to especially | | | | and colleges always offer parenting classes at |
| lung cancer. You make clear how expensive | | | | reduced costs they cover the basics but give you |
| smoking is, you describe the smelly after effects, | | | | insight, suggestions and resources to help you deal |
| the addictiveness of nicotine and you spell out the | | | | with problems, especially teen issues. |
| bazillion other problems the habit can cause as | | | | 2. Plug in. Plug yourself in to the things that will |
| you yourself light up the last of twenty in a pack | | | | build you own self-esteem and confidence. Read |
| of Marlboro's. | | | | positive books, listen to self-help tapes and |
| Are you really being a positive influence in your | | | | positive music and surround yourself with you |
| childs life when after chugging down a 12 pack | | | | own positive peer group. |
| during a Sunday afternoon of watching football | | | | 3. Follow the positive successful example of |
| you decide this would be a great teaching | | | | others. Join the PTA or other groups and become |
| moment for little Johnny. Therefore, with slurred | | | | involved with parents who are successful in raising |
| speech, bloodshot eyes and the smell of stale | | | | their children, from them you will learn what |
| beer pouring from your breath you mention to | | | | works and what does not. |
| him that alcohol is acceptable under two | | | | Taking the first step to breaking the bad habits |
| conditions. One you must be of legal age to drink | | | | that can lead to poor parenting skills can be |
| and two, you must drink responsibly. | | | | difficult. Nevertheless, if you want to lead your |
| However, during half time, pie eyed and half in the | | | | kids to a better life you have to make sacrifices |
| bag, you find you have depleted your supply of | | | | because it is not about you it is about them. |
| Bud Light. So as Johnny watches, you stagger out | | | | So begin right now and show your children you |
| to the car climb behind the wheel and weave | | | | are willing to show them the way. Throw away |
| your way to the corner store to purchase | | | | your Marlboros, place the beer on ice for another |
| another rack? | | | | time, allow your children to accept the |
| Professionally speaking I have thousands of | | | | consequences of their actions and whatever you |
| examples regarding parents demonstrating poor | | | | do, do not attempt to smuggle pot into a State |
| leadership skills however; this one sticks out in my | | | | prison it is really not the happy, healthy, |
| mind. | | | | well-adjusted thing to do. |
| A few years ago, a young man injected his | | | | |