| 1. Kill righteousness. The need to be right is a | | | | questioned assumptions are often the most |
| serious communication mistake couples make in | | | | questionable." Think about it. Powerful stuff. |
| their communication. In an argument, you cannot | | | | 3. Seek to understand before being understood. It |
| be certain you are right because I nearly | | | | is tempting to express what you want and need |
| guarantee you the other person thinks the same. | | | | before you hear what another person wants and |
| Stop believing your perception is accurate. | | | | needs. The counterintuitive lesson of this is failing |
| Liberate yourself from righteousness in arguments | | | | to understand this law of effective communication |
| and you'll be surprised at how open another | | | | does not get you what you want. |
| person becomes. | | | | It's often when you understand another person in |
| Good relationship communication comes from a | | | | business, family, and life in general, does the |
| curiosity to learn about another person's | | | | person seek understand you. Kill your need to be |
| perspectives. Your challenge today is to suspend | | | | right and question your assumptions while listening |
| judgment and to say to someone, "Tell me your | | | | to understand another. Then you can express |
| side of the story because I could be wrong." It | | | | yourself and get your needs and wants met. |
| can be scary to be wrong because your | | | | 4. Create flexible behavior. Evolution states that |
| understanding of the world is reversed. | | | | what changes to its environment survives. You |
| 2. Question your assumptions. You can only | | | | would not be here today if your ancestors failed |
| question your assumptions once you kill | | | | to be flexible. |
| righteousness. | | | | Create options. NLP states the more options you |
| If you're like most people, a dangerous area you | | | | have, the healthier you are. What a life-changing |
| create assumptions in is during conflict. You may | | | | reframe of health, habits, and happy-living! How |
| assume that when you went shopping after a | | | | healthy are you? |
| fight, a family member would appreciate your kind | | | | 5. Observe filters. Better communication begins by |
| action, but little do you know they interpreted it | | | | observing the filters you use in your relationships. |
| as avoidance. | | | | This law of effective communication skills is |
| I know in this example the other person assumes, | | | | difficult to obey! Daniel Goleman, author of |
| but you have no control over this. Assuming | | | | Emotional Intelligence, in his lesser known "Vital |
| someone understands your positive intentions | | | | Lies, Simple Truths", states that humans are |
| behind an action, which hurt them, creates | | | | masters of deception. You probably don't even |
| destructive conflict. | | | | know you are deceiving yourself because your |
| What do you assume about someone you're | | | | filters stop you from honest inner and outer |
| communicating with? Paul Broca said, "The least | | | | communication. |